One of the biggest challenges DH and I face is the dreaded budget discussion. See I'm a planner, a budgeter, someone who wants financial goals to work towards, and a few bucks stashed away for an emergency. DH on the other hand is more of a carefree spender. He gets a raise equals he deserves to buy a new gadget. Want to go on vacation and we don't have enough cash up front, let's charge it because we need to get away. The whole concept of gross verses net income is lost on him. When we got married he enthusiastically handed over his bills which I readily took on to avoid another late fee.
The one thing I've learned about money and marriage is you need to talk about how you spend/save money and you need to understand your partner's attitude toward it. DH doesn't want to get bogged down in goals and planning, he wants to make money and spend it on things he can enjoy. I respect that he works hard and needs to have a novelty spending budget and he acknowledges that I get stressed out about paying the bills and would feel more comfortable building an emergency fund and saving for future large expenses (i.e. renovation the bathroom). He puts me in charge of the planning and I keep him informed about what I'm doing. It's a system that works for us and addresses our immediate money concerns.
There is a great quiz in David Bach's Smart Couples Finish Rich that DH and I both took that helped us align where we spend money with what matters most to us. For example, DH values relaxing so it makes sense that he spends money on activities he finds relaxing. I value security and thus it makes sense that we "spend" money by putting it into an emergency fund.
To save you from spending money on a book, here are a few fun online quizzes to get the conversation juices flowing.
- A quick 8 question quiz on marriage money skills
- A money personality quiz
- A quiz that tests you on your partner's money personality
- An overview of the different money styles and their strengths and weaknesses
Enjoy and start talking!
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